Ok, in this reality, it ain’t much more than existing. For me anyway. I became a heavy weight on my chair. Somehow I never got a career like people want. I strummed my guitar and painted, 2000 poems later I fainted. All for what? My existence.
Looking at how I live it seems I need a shove. University is coming and I worry I will barely survive it. I am not good at functioning under a structure, where you have to do, or fail.
I see myself in this habit. Built from a few years of isolation. It is how I survive, a crutch, how the day spaces out, puff to puff. I can imagine a different life, a dream, or some way I can live better, easier, healthier. Breaking this down it is these three addictions holding me back. They are all legal and minor but they are my crutch, I need a holiday away from them.