Waking up to fear that I can’t make a decision spins my head. The world is full of versions, subjections we throw at objects and history. If we dictate society on a book like the Bible we have morality, though morality itself becomes subjective when we decide what a word means. Morality actually is objective and dictated by whether something causes harm, though who can see the harm before hand. Take murder. If I was tortured in a basement for a month and escaped by killing my torturer I would probably not go to jail. This is morality, though yes its decided in court.
You can look at life morally and decide upon how you affect yourself. This cigarette, or jogging, sex, temptations of money. You can read RUMI and hear him say poverty is a choice, choose it and find God. Perhaps money itself is a taunt to take you far from truth and peace.
You pick up a book and turn to a page, it tells you that you condemn others for what you are. To reconcile your own shadow, your darkness, takes not stopping morality but realising your own demonic potential which is dormant.
Look at yourself in a new light. A victim to ideology. The advertisements tell you how to live, how to cut your hair, your car. You are never happy for long and need a new form. You buy that perfect hat, that holiday, a watch, a boat a house. It never ends this search for satisfaction.
I have a car. Where do I drive it? Perhaps it would be better to walk or catch the bus. What purpose is there in flying to a ski resort to ski down a slope?
One things for sure I need a better system. A documentation. My trip to a steam room eluded the principle of experiences. Going to a festival, a rock concert, wont teach you much. It is what it is. No learning. To experience is to be in life on a ground level, on the streets. To be on a corner and watch a man cross a road. To not just talk but to listen.