The strangeness of conscious
is connection. The real thing
is hard to believe. These bits
of pain. Came like a gunshot
to heads. And tails between
legs we run. To the breach
of morals. That reminder
taken. Away and away
we go. Into the darkness
is ego. The wrong choices.
In my assurance of ego
I state to a mirror I am not weak
like the desire to be a God.
For as feet tell me you stumble
down and upon your failings
when trying to be a hero.
As I smoke here, the time passes as the clock turns. My guitar seems as if it is haunted by another’s hand. The petty minds behind me I am alone with my weaknesses. I can miss her if I can.
It is though there is satisfaction in silence. The smile is concrete for 20 minutes. I want to describe the experience of being beaten and still having hope of falling in love.
You can devise plans to win over your mind. To tell it you are stronger than a shadow. You are of course much stronger than a feeling though a feeling is easier than knowing what to do about it.
If a glow was to happen and you walked out to the world a million hands would take a piece and run away. Every day we live off each other from selfishness. We cannot maintain our life without someone else giving us what we need.
It is really just about passing the time. You have to get to death. It is coming and you want to be as healthy as you can when it comes.
Look at objects around you, you love and need, or some you despise. Attraction and rejection. The small amount you use is the tip of the iceberg much like your subconscious. In you are methods of subjection. I have had the unconscious swap with my ego as Jung says, the insanity is amountable to terror.
You should fear of course the reality of life in some way. If you realise the dangers you shall try to be safe. Staying away from dark alleys and night clubs where prey lurk. Even a street as pleasant as a church can turn to darkness. Watch your feet in silence as you travel through this space.
It is said there is death of ego. This may not be some pain. It is a closure of anxiety and grasping. It is a release of suffering and harm. Your mind can breathe again in sober moves, towards a tomorrow where influence is not the demon but a moon.
The reality is a parcel left on your door step. Not quite what you expected when you opened your door. Surprise! For good or bad it is never quite planned. Illness comes and lovers die, insanity and pain. Though there is escape if you try, though do you have the strength to sit on a cushion and pray? The silence of meditation is the only substitute for pains. It isn’t easy to do nothing, just concentrating on the breath. Your ego starts getting agitated, wants to get up, do something, find satisfaction. If only you could tell yourself how good you’ll feel after an hour, when your ego calms and you can be ok with just being alone.
Here is a problem. The ego. Getting caught up battling the ego should be worthwhile, though usually fruitless. It is as if popular psychology has instilled a view of a positivity of the ego. If you understand how an ego behaves at all you’d quickly realise the damage it does continuously in the world.
In morality is a curse that controls us. We concern it upon others and not ourselves. Our subjection upon ideology creates definitions. These definitions regardless of hypocrisy we project. We are of course able to subvert them.
In my entrapment is desire. Like any other I am controlled by impulse and delusions. Without refraining from wants you cannot declare complete. Every thought constitutes a burdening reality upon the self. With intoxication comes illusions. A long life of intoxication can result in complete removal from concernment. We are growing our ego exponentially and our greedy arms reach out for more.
The only way to reach enlightenment is actually completely simple. There is no secret. I am far way from reaching it myself though I can see it able to be achieved eventually. The simple way to describe it is to suggest the extermination of the ego. Quite obviously if you can extinguish the ego you can no longer project the self. This is simple though achieving it takes years of hard work. Firstly you must reduce the forces upon the growth of the ego. You must stop its growth and then reduce its hold. As we are habitual thinkers it is a long struggle. You must declare yourself defeated. That you have lost. Then you can decide to head in a direction where you remove the pieces one by one revealing your true nature, the soul.
Its funny how representation is deluded. De-constructing your methods is not simple. We hold up our achievements like we are the only one that ever did them. We use them against people to rule.
The saturation of ego is predominant in the user. Addicted to desire they prolong actualisation of the soul. The longer it continues the harder it is to ever get to truth. On and on through life the ego grows yet never becomes aware of itself and its processes.
The soul of a human infected by ego may create infatuation. They are proud of themselves to the point of sexualisation. In their eyes no matter what the actual reality they serve a godly purpose. They have risen to a much higher position than they are and will continue to rise until death, never realising their miniscule importance in the scheme of humanity.
Of course this is a failing of all humans. That any of us have any greater importance than a short life. Most of us achieve so little and cannot be blamed for it. It is not that we should feel bad for not being important it is just that we should not declare ourselves heroes for so little. How can I say I am incredible without ever leaving normalcy. It is not that we should feel bad we should just realise our modest lives and try to not boast.
Every day we live like anyone else. We eat and sleep and dress ourselves. Some of us cannot see that others suffer. It is not of any interest to us. We do not see it and we do not think about it. We have our own life and it is the most important. Think to yourself if you have offered anyone something, and did you hold it against them when you did?