Pie Lovers

Thinner, my hair, my chin,
I am the winner of sorrow,
how much can I fit in.
I listened to Pavement
in my morning sin
and now my girl
I want you to begin.
So what if I am single
its not a real crime,
like raping your hand
was just killing time.
The nuns were done
in the early ways
and now my pants
have stains for days.
In circles my circles
are under my eyes
and you opened up
and even opened your thighs.
We climb to the top
of a mountain of lies
and to no ones surprise
we are dropped like pies.

My Moon is Up

As I smoke here, the time passes as the clock turns. My guitar seems as if it is haunted by another’s hand. The petty minds behind me I am alone with my weaknesses. I can miss her if I can.

It is though there is satisfaction in silence. The smile is concrete for 20 minutes. I want to describe the experience of being beaten and still having hope of falling in love.

You can devise plans to win over your mind. To tell it you are stronger than a shadow. You are of course much stronger than a feeling though a feeling is easier than knowing what to do about it.

If a glow was to happen and you walked out to the world a million hands would take a piece and run away. Every day we live off each other from selfishness. We cannot maintain our life without someone else giving us what we need.

It is really just about passing the time. You have to get to death. It is coming and you want to be as healthy as you can when it comes.

Look at objects around you, you love and need, or some you despise. Attraction and rejection. The small amount you use is the tip of the iceberg much like your subconscious. In you are methods of subjection. I have had the unconscious swap with my ego as Jung says, the insanity is amountable to terror.

You should fear of course the reality of life in some way. If you realise the dangers you shall try to be safe. Staying away from dark alleys and night clubs where prey lurk. Even a street as pleasant as a church can turn to darkness. Watch your feet in silence as you travel through this space.

It is said there is death of ego. This may not be some pain. It is a closure of anxiety and grasping. It is a release of suffering and harm. Your mind can breathe again in sober moves, towards a tomorrow where influence is not the demon but a moon.

My Billion Idea’s were Less than a Billion

In this room is a fight. My battle is simple, just to feel alive. With my cigarette and coffee I sit down here and stare. I miss her but will not find her in this life again.

The strangeness happens when I feel at peace, like after recovering from jogging. My mind is less blocked and attached to whatever it seems to belong to.

I have a strong lazy bone, a tiredness. It could be from years of the wrong paths. When I try to produce it is pain, a barrier, something stops me as I push through.

You want to just lay there at peace. In comfort. Easing your bones and relaxing your mind. Thoughts seem to come up and torment you because you haven’t reconciled.

I give myself a good talking to. I make plans. Really I don’t want much more than a lover, to tell my story to. Out there are people, billions, you have to find one that can care.

Future Winter

Piercing like rain coming
makes a stomach moan for doing,
though being is djinn for ego.

In my mountain top
I judge the objects
that my soul has collected in choice.

I wash myself in the rain now
when it comes,
in hope for doing-and-being like love.

If a woman were to find me,
I hope she sees my
lightening.