A foul image haunting,
the torture of the held.
You cannot adjust to hell
if it is this truth of man.
The factor of my life
is just normal desire.
Just wanting a lover
or substance to calm me.
I need no disturbance
to excite me.
I need no darkness
no power me.
Give me glows
of the good hearts.
Let the pain just fade
and may I be free.

My Billion Idea’s were Less than a Billion

In this room is a fight. My battle is simple, just to feel alive. With my cigarette and coffee I sit down here and stare. I miss her but will not find her in this life again.

The strangeness happens when I feel at peace, like after recovering from jogging. My mind is less blocked and attached to whatever it seems to belong to.

I have a strong lazy bone, a tiredness. It could be from years of the wrong paths. When I try to produce it is pain, a barrier, something stops me as I push through.

You want to just lay there at peace. In comfort. Easing your bones and relaxing your mind. Thoughts seem to come up and torment you because you haven’t reconciled.

I give myself a good talking to. I make plans. Really I don’t want much more than a lover, to tell my story to. Out there are people, billions, you have to find one that can care.

You Need Her

Here in la la land, all is well, enough, at least, it seems, at least, for now. You got these people saying, not much at all, living on, social platforms, the gossip starts, drunken, its not me, I can’t be there. There is no win, this life, no prizes, money is money, food is food, you win death, then reborn you lose, start over, another game, to win again, win what, your death, win money, win a drink or two, or more, much more drinks, on and on, developing a habit.

What I get in my head, ideas, that in one particular moment, in one place, in one instance, you were a hero, unknown, known, what difference, you can be this, that, but on a stretch of road, you were there, picked up a coin, made a wish.

What is it you need, want, have, haven’t. Look at this, a situation, uncomfortable, a lover, needed, wanted, not needed, its better to not want the wanted, for what, success, sex, parties, power, a boat, a car, a house, a big house, a really big house, a war, a following, for what end, to teach, to kill, to beat, to own, to have, to need, to want?