My aching soul (if it exists)
is cruelness to wisdom.
The blabberings come
like casual friendships.
Take me away.
As I smoke here, the time passes as the clock turns. My guitar seems as if it is haunted by another’s hand. The petty minds behind me I am alone with my weaknesses. I can miss her if I can.
It is though there is satisfaction in silence. The smile is concrete for 20 minutes. I want to describe the experience of being beaten and still having hope of falling in love.
You can devise plans to win over your mind. To tell it you are stronger than a shadow. You are of course much stronger than a feeling though a feeling is easier than knowing what to do about it.
If a glow was to happen and you walked out to the world a million hands would take a piece and run away. Every day we live off each other from selfishness. We cannot maintain our life without someone else giving us what we need.
It is really just about passing the time. You have to get to death. It is coming and you want to be as healthy as you can when it comes.
Look at objects around you, you love and need, or some you despise. Attraction and rejection. The small amount you use is the tip of the iceberg much like your subconscious. In you are methods of subjection. I have had the unconscious swap with my ego as Jung says, the insanity is amountable to terror.
You should fear of course the reality of life in some way. If you realise the dangers you shall try to be safe. Staying away from dark alleys and night clubs where prey lurk. Even a street as pleasant as a church can turn to darkness. Watch your feet in silence as you travel through this space.
It is said there is death of ego. This may not be some pain. It is a closure of anxiety and grasping. It is a release of suffering and harm. Your mind can breathe again in sober moves, towards a tomorrow where influence is not the demon but a moon.
Need to work on soul
now I have the chance.
The discipline of exercising
body and mind.
Piercing like rain coming
makes a stomach moan for doing,
though being is djinn for ego.
In my mountain top
I judge the objects
that my soul has collected in choice.
I wash myself in the rain now
when it comes,
in hope for doing-and-being like love.
If a woman were to find me,
I hope she sees my
I cant wait for the clog to decrease.
The inflammation, a swelling of measure.
Why worry of the insular patterns
that never reach far from chairs.
In this lonely street is a chance,
a finding of holy.
Imagine the cost of the death
is just a small endeavor.
The weaker men fight over mirrors.
Posing for peeks at the throne.
There is no result in being a snake
other than gaining the coins.
For mistaken are we all here in duality
that we can even tell left from right.
Spinning like a top we bottom out
if we were asked to stop.
If I glue myself to work for soul
I would work hardest of all.
Going to a job is just a habit
controlled by fear of rejection.
You can dig a hole for a loaf of bread
and then declare yourself worthy.
Soon you will be buried
and worthy you shall be.
In morality is a curse that controls us. We concern it upon others and not ourselves. Our subjection upon ideology creates definitions. These definitions regardless of hypocrisy we project. We are of course able to subvert them.
In my entrapment is desire. Like any other I am controlled by impulse and delusions. Without refraining from wants you cannot declare complete. Every thought constitutes a burdening reality upon the self. With intoxication comes illusions. A long life of intoxication can result in complete removal from concernment. We are growing our ego exponentially and our greedy arms reach out for more.
The only way to reach enlightenment is actually completely simple. There is no secret. I am far way from reaching it myself though I can see it able to be achieved eventually. The simple way to describe it is to suggest the extermination of the ego. Quite obviously if you can extinguish the ego you can no longer project the self. This is simple though achieving it takes years of hard work. Firstly you must reduce the forces upon the growth of the ego. You must stop its growth and then reduce its hold. As we are habitual thinkers it is a long struggle. You must declare yourself defeated. That you have lost. Then you can decide to head in a direction where you remove the pieces one by one revealing your true nature, the soul.
Seeking some satisfaction from the outside world seems a vast task. So looking within I find hard work on my errors. Becoming ill from societal experiences where influences courted my sanity into misshaped vessels of confusion has gone on too long. No doctor can change the longevity of realising the predicaments of soul. I am just thrown into spirals of fear when I give in to my anxiety about possible reality. “The Three Cats” is a work I would like to possess. In the futurous planes of my art.