The reality is a parcel left on your door step. Not quite what you expected when you opened your door. Surprise! For good or bad it is never quite planned. Illness comes and lovers die, insanity and pain. Though there is escape if you try, though do you have the strength to sit on a cushion and pray? The silence of meditation is the only substitute for pains. It isn’t easy to do nothing, just concentrating on the breath. Your ego starts getting agitated, wants to get up, do something, find satisfaction. If only you could tell yourself how good you’ll feel after an hour, when your ego calms and you can be ok with just being alone.
Choosing thoughts the morning starts to fold
and designs of life burrow into sight.
The cool air and sounds of cars make movement
in the bones of the not so golden.
You can feel the impatience here
in the wooden desk and screens.
The wanting to collect a thought of right-ness
which can elude a strength.
Like a loser
in a mirror, I need these satisfactions.
They never last, I need more by my reaction.
My neck is aching and twisted
from staring and sitting,
I need redemption from my knitting,
give me strength.